Review: Thoughtless by S.C. Stephens

If Travis Maddox & I ever break-up, I’ll make Kellan Kyle my new boyfriend….♥♥

Title: Thoughtless
Author: S.C. Stephens
Series: Thoughtless #1
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Release Date: June 11, 2011

For almost two years now, Kiera’s boyfriend, Denny, has been everything she’s ever wanted: loving, tender and endlessly devoted to her. When they head off to a new city to start their lives together, Denny at his dream job and Kiera at a top-notch university, everything seems perfect. Then an unforeseen obligation forces the happy couple apart.

Feeling lonely, confused, and in need of comfort, Kiera turns to an unexpected source—a local rock star named Kellan Kyle. At first, he’s purely a friend that she can lean on, but as her loneliness grows, so does their relationship. And then one night everything changes…and none of them will ever be the same.

“I want to be someone’s everything. I want fire and passion, and love that’s returned, equally. I want to be someone’s heart.”

Okay so I read this a while ago and I’m barely reviewing it now. It took me a while to wrap my mind around Thoughtless due to the mind F–***y it did on me. I mean seriously is S.C. Stephens trying to kill me from heart palpitations and angst alone? I think so. That’s probably why I put off this review for so long because my poor heart can only take so much strain, because this is definitely not a book for the faint of heart. I gave the same warning in my review for Beautiful Disaster, and even though the premise is much different it most definitely rivaled the angst in Beautiful Disaster. Kellan is very much an unforgettable bad boy, and a book boyfriend I won’t be sharing anytime soon.

The book begins with happy couple (maybe a bit boring couple in my opinion though) Kiera (selfish) and Denny (meh, but described as gorgeous) moving thousands of miles away from home because Denny landed a heavily sought after position as an intern at a prestigious company in his field.

Don’t. Don’t ever question that. Of course I miss my family, miss them terribly. But you are worth it, you’re worth everything. I love you. I want to be where you are.”

Kiera has her whole life wrapped around Denny, and can’t picture herself living without him (co-dependant, of course these are my favorite relationships to read about) so she drops everything back at home, transfers college knowing that her parents will not be financially backing her college since she gave up her college scholarship back home. It doesn’t matter to Kiera though, because she can’t live without Denny. They sound like an inseparable couple right? Well that is until she meets their new roommate and Denny’s close friend worthy of a role of “like a brother to him.”

Everything about him had screamed, “I’m going to take you right here and make you forget your own name.”

Oh Kellan, you can try your hardest to make me forget my name anytime you want….Enter Kellan, he’s your typical bad boy with charming good looks, rockstar appeal, never a shortage of women looking to satisfy his every need even if its only one night, yet he’s oh so vulnerable. Yep he’s swoon worthy. *sigh*

“Where Denny’s body was great, Kellan’s was just ridiculous. ….He was, well….hot.”

Okay so gorgeous Denny does have plenty of fans out there and hopefully I don’t offend too many here, but in many ways I found Denny to be just as selfish as I found Kiera to be. He moves with her across the country where so knows no one except their roommate local rockstar Kellan that oozes sex appeal as his own pheromones. The problem is that he then leaves for a work trip and leaves co-dependant/needy Kiera alone without much contact and you’ve already guessed it I’m sure but the only person to comfort her would be *gasp* Kellan.;)

“He drew almost every eye to him like a flame. Women-and even a few men openly stared.”

See its all starting to unravel about this point. Not only does he severe contact but he then chooses to take a job in Australia (see Denny is originally from Australia and Kellan family home was the home he stayed at in high school as a foreign exchange student) without even consulting Kiera, with no regards for her schooling, or the sacrifice she has made to accommodate his job. See that’s where his selfishness comes into play, but just wait Kiera wears the selfish title like a diamond fitted crown.

“I smiled at remembering the day and how, for almost the entirety of it,I hadn’t missed Denny…..too much.”

Fortunately for Kiera, Kellan was around to comfort her while she was missing Denny, while she stole his heart away…..

Without thinking, I did what I had wanted to do on that very first shot. I grabbed his hand, just as he bent down to lick the salt away. I lightly pressed my tongue against the back of it, the salt pleasantly mixing with the taste of his skin. His breath caught while he watched me down the shit if tequila. I quickly set the glass down and placed the lime wedge in his partly opened mouth. I brought my lips to his. I half sucked on the line, half pressed against his lips. Fire burned through me.

I pulled away from him slowly, taking the lime with me. His breathing was faster and a little ragged. I carefully took the lime out and set it on the counter, licking my fingers in the process. Kellan took his shot of tequila straight, his eyes never leaving mine. He roughly set down his own glass, licked his lower lip once, and grabbed my neck, pulling me back to his mouth.

Very shortly into this story I realized that this crazy roller coaster/nightmare had no exit but by then I had already decided their was no turning back! I had to see how this ended even if it made me cry, gave me chest pains, made me anxious, made me want to slap selfish Kiera in the face, because well it did all those things to me, and still after finishing I had a lump in my throat and a heaviness on my chest that wouldn’t go away.

He closed his eyes and a tear escaped, trickling down his cheek. I wiped it away. “What are you thinking about?’ I asked timidly. ”Nothing,” he replied, keeping his eyes closed. 

I lifted my head higher to look at him more closely. He opened his eyes and gazed back at me. “I’m trying to not think about anything,” he said softly. “It hurts too much when I think….” I but my lip and nodded, very sorry that I had even asked. “I love you,” I said and nodded sadly. “Just not enough…..not enough to leave him?”

This scene alone made chest feel heavy and the lump in my throat feel overwhelmingly suffocating to me. I was crying no sobbing like a sappy lovesick child. This scene and many others killed me, but I kept pushing through it, because as much as I was overwhelmed with sadness, I couldn’t put Thoughtless down for fear I would miss out on Kiera and Kellan’s powerfully dangerous story.

“One single tear rolled down his cheek and the thing indie me broke completely. His pain, his suffering, awakened feelings in me for him that I had never felt before. I wanted to protect him, I wanted to heal him. I would give anything to take his pain away. The coldness, the irritation, the women, —-the pain in his eyes, made everything else slip away.”

Okay another scene that completely devastated me….  The best way I could describe how I felt the entire time reading it would be this; It was as if I had weights tapped to my chest and I had ran upstairs causing me to feel a shortage of breath along with the heavy weight pressing against me. You know that feeling right? It’s very similar to having your heart broken…..ya well Stevens did that to me the entire time I read it. I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone not in favor of reading about a love triangle, because this has to be the most intense and disturbing love triangle I have had the pleasure to read. To me love triangles are fun, angsty, scary, emotional, exciting, invigorating, thrilling, yet even I found myself crying over it more than once.

“This is wrong, you’re not mine.”
“I am yours.”

In reality both Kellan and Kiera truly deserve to be unhappy with all this sneaking behind Denny’s back, but quite frankly I’m selfish and I blamed Denny for avoiding Kiera while out of town working and Kiera for holding two devastatingly handsome men’s hearts in her hands and oh so unwillingly able to let one of them go. I wanted to make “my” Kellan have a happy ending, because he stole my heart.

“He had said I was his heart, and you don’t leave your heart behind. You can’t live without your heart.”

At some point as much as I adored obsessed over Kellan, I just wished she would break it off with him, and put him out of his misery. But at the same time I found Kiera easily relatable and the way Stephens wrote her character, as much as I may have disliked her at times I still had her heart in my best interest while feeling all her devastatingly toxic emotions, angst, guilt, confusion and pain the entire time reading Thoughtless that I still found her likable.

“Will it bother me if you have sex with your boyfriend?” He asked softly. I blushed again and nodded. “Just answer the question.” He laughed and looked away. Sighing, he finally answered. “Yes, yes it will bother me…but, I understand.” He turned to look at me again. “You’re not mine,” he said wistfully.

Okay so I’ve now lost my mind and my morals because I’m now screaming back at my ipad screen, YES it will bother him Kiera, and it bothers me too!!!! So can you please sustain from having sex with your boyfriend to protect my boyfriend Kellan’s heart and my heavy chest since I’m suffering along with you.

“It was intoxicating and beautiful and heartwarming…and maybe, if at that moment I allowed myself to feel it, a little sad.”

Although all you Denny fans, something he does disturbs me in such a horrific way towards the end of the book that I found myself cringing while reading and re-thinking my first thoughts of Denny being the typical “happy go lucky” boyfriend. I mean if you have read it then you know what I’m referring to. However, it makes sense when people are hurt they do the unthinkable sometimes and people get hurt.

“He was my home…..and I missed him terribly.”

Overall I absolutely LOVED this book and S.C. Stephens will forever be remembered as the author that introduced me to another “almost as good as Travis” bad boy and almost as angsty as Beautiful Disaster, and for that Thoughtless deserves 5 sparkly stars. She took me for a ride on a crazy train, and held me captive for several hours until I was so emotionally distraught and wrecked I had no other choice but to start Effortless immediately. hehe See I’m a glutton for punishment. When a book has been described as angsty, I say bring it. I recommend Thoughtless for fans of angsty books with emotionally damaged characters such as Beautiful Disaster, Avoiding Commitment, Fifty Shades of Grey, Crossfire series, Fallen From Grace and Crash. P.s. I’m now a D-Bag groupie!!!!

“Forgive me..please. I tried to forget you. It didn’t work…I just wanted you more. God, I’ve missed you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you. Every girl is you to me. You’re all I see…you’re all I want. I want you so much. I want you forever. Forgive me…I love you so much.”

Another Mature YA/College MUST READ contemporary romance! Do yourself a favor and read Thoughtless immediately so you can share in my love Lust for Kellan Kyle. ♥

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